Recently I realized that someone that I considered an associate was using me. It bothered me at first, but as I sat back and thought about some of the things that had transpired between us I realized that I knew it all along. I may not have accepted it, but I knew it. It’s sad when people do things to try and make themselves look good at the expense of someone else. My initial reaction was to be angry, but then I thought better of it and asked myself how that would help me or how it would change the situation. It can’t. So, what do I do now? Should I stop associating with the person? That would be unprofessional since we work together. Do I let the person know that I know what they did? No. They already know what they did and had no regard for how it would affect me when they were doing it, so why would they care now? What to do? What to do? I’m going to take the high road and continue to do what I have been doing. Why? Because I am only responsible for me. I just know that there is no need in me getting worked up over it. I will limit the access that this person has to my mind. I can control that. I don’t have to give my pearls to the swine, so I won’t. Other than that I will keep on doing me.
People that we care about have the power to hurt us. People that we do not care about do not. My boundaries with this person do not extend to that emotional place, so why make a big deal about it? I am writing about it here because I know that others have experienced this same thing. I have seen it in the workplace and I have seen how it escalates and it is never good for the person that was used. That person has everything to lose. The other person has no morals, no ethics, no boundaries, so they are already limitless in the back stabbing department. I am actually honored that my efforts were able to help the person out. That means that I am doing something right. We should be honored and keep it moving.
When a person shows you who they are, take their word for it. Don’t try to sugarcoat it. What they showed you is exactly who they are. No more and no less.
This person and I went to lunch one day and we were talking about old jobs that we had. This person mentioned being a recruiter and stated that they had a client that did not want African-Americans, so the person never sent an African-American. I could not believe what I heard. You mean to tell me that African-Americans that were qualified for the positions were overlooked because you felt the need to comply with blatant racism? I knew then that this was not a person with good intentions. So, it didn’t really surprise me to learn this new information. What I can say is that karma has no respect of a person. It simply creates a circumstance for you based on your every move.
One of my favorite sayings is, “I hope they get what they deserve”. Many times people take this to mean something negative, but that is not how I am introducing it to the ethers. I am stating exactly what the words mean. Good or bad, I hope they get what they deserve.
Lessons in life teach us not to change who we are based on who someone else is.
I’m going to continue to show up just as I am.