Movie of The Week
One out of Four Stars
Written by Joss Whedon and Chris Terrio
Directed by Zack Snyder
Release Date: November 17, 2017
Starring: Ben Affleck
Whenever you want to start a review with, “What the hell did I just watch?” There is a problem. I am the first one to admit that I am not a super hero fan, but I do enjoy some of these movies. Loved Wonder Woman, Love me some Iron Man and I am looking forward to the Black Panther. With that said, I feel like I have enough to fairly assess this movie and tell you what I’m sure you know by now if you have seen it. This movie sucks. I’m sorry, but I fell asleep twice, and I think that I was snoring.
If it were not for Wonder Woman and that fine ass Aquaman, I don’t know what type of mess this would have been. Even Poppa Pope couldn’t help it, and he can fix a lot of shit.
I know that Batman has issues, but why does he have to have them all the time. This dude needs a woman and a shot of tequila. The Flash got on my one good nerve, and it took me all movie to figure out that ole metal man was Cyborg. We all have parent issues, but I would not recommend having them with Poppa Pope. He might have you kidnapped or short or ok, blown up and then made of metal…I’m just saying.
In the case of Superman, the dead should stay buried. Has he heard the Bruno Mars song, “Perm”? He should take a listen and straighten out his attitude. He should be grateful that they woke him up, but instead, he comes back mad. IDK. Not enough was done with this part of the movie, and so, I felt left wondering what the whole thing was all about in the first place.
Moving on. Jason Momoa is so fine that you forget about whatever else is going on when he is on the screen. Lisa Bonet, your man, is gorgeous honey. I’m just saying. Now that I have said that (I might have to repeat it a few times), the backstory on this guy is non-existent. As a new super hero follower (sorta), I need to know what’s up with this cat and this film tells me nothing except he can talk to the water that talks to the fish. I think that is how it works. See, I told you that it told me nothing. What I did learn here is that everyone else needs to keep their shirt on in this film up to and especially including Ben Affleck. Jason is the one to beat and if you can’t then don’t try.
Wonder Woman! Love her. I enjoy this character. I like her integrity and dedication. I also like that she does not require permission from anyone, she is a get shit done Woman who, well… gets shit done.
Steppenwolf is the not so good guy who wants these three boxes so that he an like run the world and stuff. So, he gets them, but somehow these ancient ass boxes have technology that Cyborg can hack and Superman can pull apart when he wakes up from being dead, and then Wonder Woman saves some people from getting blown up, and Cyborg drives Batman car, tank thingy and the world is good again. Why did this take two hours? I have no clue.
I hope that the Black Panther is worth all the hype.